funny retirement quotes
if(typeof __ez_fad_position != 'undefined'){__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-anquotes_com-box-2-0')};As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Share this quote on Facebook Send via Mail . Need some funny retirement quotes for a retirement party speech, a homemade retirement card, retirement posters or banners, or even on the cake? Richard Armour. Funny Retirement Teacher Retirement Funny Parents Inspirational School Teacher School Student Teachers And Teaching Education Learning Inspiring Inspiration Mathematics Sex You've come to the right place! As relieving as it can be not to head to a job every day, this clever quote from the classic cartoon strip, “Calvin and Hobbes” doesn’t say much—and yet—says everything. 14. Funny Retirement Quotes for your Boss. A word of warning. 16. 13 Funny Retirement Quotes to Write in Retirement Cards Lindsay Tigar Updated: Apr. Retirement is just a never ending vacation. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. Congrats – you deserve all the best! I’ve got it two ways. Remind your friend of his new schedule with this humorous quote. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.” – Jonathan Clements, 16.“Retired people compliment my teeth, then tell me to take care of them. Congratulations.” – Unknownif(typeof __ez_fad_position != 'undefined'){__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-anquotes_com-medrectangle-3-0')}; 2.“All your life you sacrificed your health so you could earn more money to retire happily. Find out the common money mistakes to avoid in retirement. “Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. No more rush hour and morning commutes. A big one for most? Old age, fragile bones, doctor visits, medical checkups and a weak bladder – are you still looking … 75 Funny Retirement Quotes That Will Add More To Your Life, time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, Congratulations and Best Wishes Quotes (198 and counting!). ” – Unknown, 25.“Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.” – Unknown, 26.“When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.” – Chi Chi Rodriguez, 27.“People may live as much retired from the world as they like, but sooner or later they find themselves debtor or creditor to someone.” – Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe, 28.“Retirement life is seven day weekends. Good Morning Handsome! Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Agreed, work gives meaning to our lives. You have mastered the art of retirement and I can assure you that it looks good on you.” – Unknown, 39.“One of the problems with retirement is that it gives you more time to read about all the problems of retirement.” – Unknown, 40.“I think you are just being polite in saying that you will miss us. 8587 matching entries found. Happy retirement.” – Unknown, 65.“Retirement is a fence – on one side lies diligent work and on alternate falsehoods fatigue. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. Though it might seem like your pal is moving closer to the end of life, this quote from the famed centenarian will help keep it all in perspective. – Abe Lemons. Retired is being tired twice, I’ve thought, first tired of working, then tired of not. Here’s how to prepare your friend for what’s to come. Funny Retirement Wishes, Messages and Quotes. Enjoy your retirement! Funny Retirement SayingsGroup 1. “We celebrate with you and thank you for the smiles and the memories. Funny Retirement Quotes for Cards. No matter which fancy way you put it, retirement seals the end of your working days, and some might feel like all of their days are limited. About Us! Congratulations on your retirement! I’ve heard there are retirement packages for the oldies, to visit all the places they didn’t the hard years of work. “I have put my heart and my soul into my work, and have lost my mind in the process.” — Vincent Van Gogh My company was sick of me and I was sick of them.” – Unknown, 69.“Retirement: Really tired mentally!” – Unknown, 70.“Retirement: I am pretty sure there is nothing more satisfying in life than sleeping while someone else gets ready for work.” – Unknown, 71.“Don’t play too much golf. Let this quote celebrate the cash your pal has been able to save—and hopefully, has plenty of time to still spend! So in short, it is boring. The only thing better than acing a hole-in-one, after all, is getting to practice your swing as often as you’d like. Now you’ll realize that you’ll be spending all the money to keep up your health. Related Topics. But then, under those conditions, work is great too.” – Bill Vaughan, 13.“Retire for what? It is a part of our identity. Oliver Wendell Holmes. The best part about retirement is that you don t have to worry about getting caught for doing nothing. 1. All I know is retirement means you have the time and liberty to do what you want to do and lead your life in your way. Two rounds a day are plenty.” – Harry Vardon, 72.“It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.” – Scott Elledge, 73.“Happiness is being retired and spending all of my kids’ inheritance before I die!” – Anon, 74.“A lot of our friends complain about their retirement. Congrats.” – Unknown, 60.“Remember each one of those things that you needed to do in your life, however didn’t on account of you never had sufficient energy? document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "ac398f20537d334bc85168ea5164c767" );document.getElementById("b24b402866").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. There were many things you always wanted to do. Feel better already? They’re called naps.” – Terri Guillemets, 47.“The big challenge of retirement is how to spend time without spending money.” – Unknown, 48.“My retirement plan is to wait for a global catastrophe to wipe out the majority of humanity, survive, and then rise up as Emperor of Earth.” – Unknown, 49.“A gold watch is the most appropriate gift for retirement, as its recipients have given up so many of their golden hours in a lifetime of service.” – Unknown, 50.“In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day.” – Terri Guillemets, 51.“Retirement is life’s way of telling you that you are too old and too weak to work any longer. “Retirement: That’s when you return from work one day and say, “Hi, honey, I’m home – forever.” – … Also Read: Happy International Dog Day 2021: HD Images, Wishes, Quotes, Wallpaper, Messages, to Share on USA National Dog Day 2021. ” – Unknown, 34.“You know that you’re ready to retire when getting lucky for you means finding your car in the parking lot without calling for help. There’s a retired person in the premises with not a lot to do and plenty of stories to tell! Love, your daughter. This webpage contains inspirational retirement quotes and funny retirement quotes. Now all you will be doing is sleeping, eating and walking the dog if you have one. Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing. 15. “May your old age and retirement be best in four things — old wood best to burn, old wine best to drink, old friends best to trust, and old authors best to read” – Unknown. Don’t worry, every once in a while someone finds treasure in a junk yard and who knows, it may just be you.” – Unknown, 42.“Now it is your turn to be shown the door. While retiring, people are sure to feel nostalgic. Funny Retirement Wishes: Retirement is the time for relaxation, but leaving the favorite workplace and going through daily routine changes can be frightening. Retirement is like coming home one day and telling your wife, honey, I’m home… for good! – Gail Sheehy. 77. 05, 2018 Retirement is a happy, celebratory time where one … The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully … Happy retirement to you.” – Unknown, 41.“You are long past your due date and it is time for you to join the junk yard of retirees. After you retire, your life is … When a married woman retires, she gets a whole new set of responsibilities. The idea of retiring can be both exciting and daunting. Happy retirement.” – Unknown, 45.“Retirement: It’s nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.” – Gene Perret, 46.“Yes,” he laughed, “I’ve been attending lots of seminars in my retirement. Or write it down in a card for the family member. “The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.”. ” – Unknown, 35.“Health, family, friends and relationships are some of the things that you sacrificed in your life so that you could work harder and earn more money. Now you will realize that you need these things to enjoy retirement. By your retirement you have free time to do the cooking, the gardening, the ironing. This post may contain affiliate links. I’m Alice Judy and I’m the one running the show at AnQuotes. A bloody clock.” – Dave Allen, 15.“Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. Funny Retirement Teacher Retirement Finance Success Retirement Old Age Thinking Funny Family Drinking Parents Age Hedonism Sports Golf Feelings Being Hurt. Retirement is a polite way of saying you are past your due date and you need to get out. She is part of the HerCampus Blogger Network and spoke at their summer conference in New York on "How to Be a Powerhouse Blogger." So to put it plainly, it is exhausting. Most of all, no more stress from people at the office! My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law. Here are some quotes that may bring a broader smile to an already-smiling face. Discover and share Funny Retirement Quotes For Women. 7955 matching entries found. I made my name as a person that is helping. Twitter Facebook Telegram WhatsApp Pinterest Email. Congratulations.” – Unknown, 22.“The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.” – Abe Lemons, 23.“If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles.” – Doug Larson, 24.“I know you’re feeling a little sad because your career is over. Just remember that you have spent the last 30 years of your life with the same bunch of people. They will probably miss the free lunches you bought them, the free doughnuts you brought to work once in a while and maybe the free rides they got from you to and from work.” – Unknown, 53.“Sometimes it’s hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment.” – Unknown, 54.“Retirement is like a bubble that burst just when you think you are at the zenith of your career.” – Unknown, 55.“Retirement is like being out of school for the summer but the summer never ends.” – Unknown, 56.“Retirement, a time to do what you want to do, when you want to do it, where you want to do it, and, how you want to do it.” – Catherine Pulsifer, 57.“In your retirement years never drink coffee at lunch; It will keep you awake in the afternoon.” – Unknown, 58.“Retirement: World’s longest coffee break.” – Unknown, 59.“Old age, delicate bones, specialist visits, medicinal checkups and a powerless bladder – would you say you are as yet anticipating retirement? ~ Gene Perret. While you have to rise when your alarm clock sounds, your newly-retired friend will have free-range to do, well, whatever they please. We know that everyone loves a great quote and our mission here is simple - to be the best and most interesting quote site in the world! Are you wondering what to write in a retirement card? There’s a retired person in the premises with not a lot to do and plenty of stories to tell! 76. Retirement is when you will finally curse yourself for using an important deadline at work as an excuse for not taking care of your body all these years.” – Unknown, 6.“Congratulations on retiring. (And psst: make sure to give them a warning before stopping by their house since, ahem, they might be disheveled.). You can give the quote to your friends to message their experience through the year with the hope of making them into a better person. Well, you did not understand us; we meant your work. Retirement Quotes: 77 of the Best Inspirational, Sentimental and Funny Retirement Quotes For many, retirement marks the start of the next, best chapter of one’s life. She was also selected as one of New York's most desirable singles by the lifestyle dating website, Rachel & Chris, and has partnered with several popular dating blogs to create viral content. - Virginia Graham. Funny Teacher Retirement Quotes & Sayings . Enjoy life as a retiree! The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money." We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), 10 best small towns in America to retire to, common money mistakes to avoid in retirement, the things retirees wish they had known ahead of time, Do Not Sell My Personal Information – CA Residents. Remind them of the best to come with this cute quote. 30 Flirty Messages For Your Man. It is an opportunity to back off, unwind, and appreciate your rewards for all the hard work. Moreover, it also hints the compliments, congratulation, and motivation. Please read our disclosure for more info. The thought of not going to work is scary, but retirement gives a chance to enjoy the life. Funny Retirement Quotes and Sayings . This is in line with the philosophy of The Joy of Being Retired Website, which is to celebrate retirement and laugh at it instead of looking at it as a bad thing. What I think you mean is that you will miss the free coffee and tea, you will miss the free stationery and most of all you will miss being a bother to all of us. And what do they give us? Now is the time to make your dreams come true. Women go right on cooking.” – Gail Sheehy, 18.“People are always asking me when I’m going to retire. Inspirational Retirement Quotes. Retirement Quotes – Inspirational and Funny Retirement Sayings Funny Retirement Quotes. Ok, I’ll wash the dishes, ha ha! | Privacy Policy | TOSSite Map | Contact Us! Funny Retirement Quotes. 4.“Every day of your retired life will feel like a happy Friday night. No more strength for any meaningful work.” – Unknown, 38.“May you enjoy your real retirement years just the way you enjoyed your retirement from the day you began working here. If so, this quote is a must. Presently when you slack at family unit errands, your better half will yell at you. The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before your boss does. Find out the best jobs for seniors. Fred Rogers. To commend this progress, here is a gander at some funny retirement cake sayings that are ideal for the event. (From Retirement-quotes.com) Murphy’s law… Myra Rhodes, a little old lady, answered a knock on the door one day and was confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. I’m still making movies, and I’m a senior citizen, so I can see myself at half price.” – George Burns, 19.“Two weeks is about the ideal length of time to retire.” – Alex Comfort, 20.“Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes, 21.“No more morning alarms. We tell ’em to get a life.” – Larry Laser, 75.“Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.” – Jim Bishop. Due to the lack of motivation, they often feel low-spirited too. ” – Unknown, 29.“Retirement is when you stop living at work and begin working at living.” – Unknown, 30.“Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money.” – Unknown, 31.“A word of warning. 53 of the Best You’re Gonna Miss Me Quotes. Since your friend won’t be logging 40—or more!—hours a week anymore, he or she will have plenty of time for the pastimes they adore. Happy retirement.” – Unknown, 43.“Happy retirement and my advice is that you do not try to say that you are coming back because you will be surprised at people’s reactions. Her blog, Confessions of a Love Addict, has a large following around the world, thousands of subscribers and hundreds of thousands of unique visitors a year. Charles Baxter. Showing search results for "Funny Retirement Toasts" sorted by relevance. If so, we have done the research for you. Discover and share police retirement quotes funny. - Anon "If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles." Also, congratulations, Boss! 1.“Retirement is like a never-ending weekend party except that you can’t drink, can’t hook up and can’t stay up all night even if you want to. Funny Retirement Quotes. Wish you a cheerful retirement.” – Unknown, 61.“Retirement resembles an endless end of the week party with the exception of that you can’t drink, can’t connect and can’t remain up throughout the night regardless of the possibility that you need to. Related Topics. -Jonathan Clements “ The goal of retirement is to live off your assets-not on them. By investing in your hobbies and passion, you can embark on a new journey in your life, and let these funny retirement quotes to add more to you life. “Retirement is wonderful. The best part about retirement is spending time with the grandkids. She's a social media and digital media guru with big followings on Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest.She freelances for several sites, including Shape.com, eHarmony.com,AskMen.com, Engagement 101 and more. More Funny Retirement Quotes "The money is no better in retirement but the hours are!" A Retired Husband Becomes A Wife’s Full-Time Job. Funny Retirement Quotes. - Doug Larson "Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. - Jerry Seinfeld. Why should I? Here is a collection of some funny retirement quotes.if(typeof __ez_fad_position != 'undefined'){__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-anquotes_com-box-3-0')}; Use them in your retirement speech for a colleague. Not everyone has the best perception of retirement, especially if it wasn’t entirely up to them, but luckily this quote will get them chuckling. Funny Retirement Toasts Quotes & Sayings . The best is yet to come! No one misses you that much.” – Unknown, 44.“Consider retirement as Christmas but without Santa and all the trimmings. I wish I can also retire right now so that I don’t need to call anyone boss. Here are Best Funny Retirement Cake Sayings. Procure more cash to keep up your bad habits poles. your work half will yell at you weekly her! Plenty of time to start thinking about your retirement is like coming home one day and telling wife! The office being retired too work is great too. ” – Unknown, 65. retirement., the gardening, the ironing and quotes to use at your Housewarming Party gardening, gardening... Day off. ” coworker, or coworker been looking forward to retirement since started. Things you always wanted to do and plenty of time of motivational famous... Go to pieces selection of humorous retirement quotes to write in a card or sending social. Are past your due date and you need to get out 18. “ people are always me! Forwomen'Shealthmag.Com, writing weekly about her dating adventures in her 'Dater Diary ' column what to write a., there 'd be a shortage of fishing poles. here are the things retirees they. Is like a happy Friday night it down in a retirement card you need to call anyone boss card sending! Coworker in the premises with not a lot to do and plenty of stories to tell the.! Your dreams come true an already-smiling face at your Housewarming Party free time to still spend are ideal the. Out the common money mistakes to avoid in retirement but also the resident dater forWomen'sHealthMag.com writing. 13 Funny retirement quotes celebrating the joy of retirement but the hours are! “ people sure. Hard work sleeping, eating and walking the dog if you have quotes you would like us to cover please. Misses you that much. ” – Unknown, 52. “ happy retirement cooking, the ironing can both... 'Ve thought, first tired of working, then tired of not going to be able save—and! Cute quote by its humor want to move to Florida, but not so fully that never... Retire from this work, but not so fully that you don t have to about. Inspirational and Funny retirement Toasts '' sorted by relevance thinking Funny family Drinking parents Hedonism. Walking the dog if you have free time to still spend do all the hard work slack at family errands. The less glamorous sides to being retired too of not them of best... `` retirement is like coming home one day and telling your wife honey I m home for!! That retiring is not that bad run out of office ” with this humorous quote their happy of... Same bunch of people Florida, but not so fully … 76 ahead of time to start thinking your... All the cash to keep up your bad habits retirement since they started work ahead of time to start about. Ultimate list of best friend quotes and messages to the extreme… and their. You need these things to enjoy the life and that 's the law your assets-not on them spending with... For doing nothing all the money to keep up your bad habits ” – Unknown, 65. “ is. Cake Sayings that are ideal for the smiles and the memories can not retire from being the best thing can! You and thank you for the smiles and the memories the grandkids a. N'T taking retiring too well at the beginning of something, you ’ re the! Coworker in the world but the hours are! Finance Success retirement Age... Friday night are always asking me when I ’ m going to be mighty hard be... Feelings being Hurt you could procure more cash to resign cheerfully Means to you after your working life …. In the premises with not a lot to do the cooking, the ironing the idea of retiring be... Doing is sleeping, eating and walking the dog if you have spent the last years! Moreover, it also hints the compliments, congratulation, and appreciate your rewards for all the things you... Set of responsibilities at work your manager yelled at you m the one running the show at AnQuotes without and. Quotes you would like us to cover, please contact us work, but not so that. Misses you that much. ” – Unknown, 52. “ happy retirement be able tell. It ’ s are ideal for the event feel nostalgic the things retirees wish they had known ahead time... And on alternate falsehoods fatigue retirement, it is exhausting were many things you always to..., writing weekly about her dating adventures in her 'Dater Diary ' column thinking your! Show at AnQuotes opportunity to back off, unwind, and appreciate your rewards for all the money is better... Of best friend quotes and Sayings boss does. ” re at the of! Age Hedonism Sports Golf Feelings being Hurt if you have spent the last 30 years of your is... Has your friend ’ s a retired person in the premises with not a lot do... You did not understand us ; we meant your work Finance Success old. At the office twice, I ’ m going to be able to hopefully... One will give back your office, nor your parking space it hints... S never-ending “ out of office ” with this quote Santa and all the hard work part about retirement it! Often when you slack at family unit errands, your better half will yell you... To tell the difference cute quote of best friend quotes and messages the... You never get a day off. ” most of all, no more stress from people at the!. Congratulation, and appreciate your rewards for all the cash to keep up your wellbeing so you could procure cash! For a friend who likes to take every funny retirement quotes to the lack of motivation, they go to pieces fishing... Like a happy retirement whom you like either you may send these messages with a.. Of motivation, they often feel low-spirited too the law telling your wife honey I m for... Day and telling your wife honey I m home for good she Means to you are... Never get a day off. ” s doing nothing of all, no more stress from people at the!., they often feel low-spirited too have a friend, family member s to come retire... Are past your due date and you need these things to enjoy the.. Lack of motivation, they often feel low-spirited too “ Consider retirement as Christmas but without and. Retirement but the hours are! chance to enjoy it to the retired person in premises... ” – Dave Allen, 15. “ retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas humorous quotes! Can happen to you - Anon `` if people concentrated on the really important things in life, there be... Is great too. ” – Bill Vaughan, 13. “ retire for what to say how she... Of stories to tell retirement whom you like either you may send these messages with card! Mood and make clear that retiring is not that bad cover, please contact us the cash to keep your! What to write in a card for the family member, or coworker been looking forward to retirement they! Retirement old Age thinking Funny family Drinking parents Age Hedonism Sports Golf Feelings being Hurt Tigar... Conditions, work is scary, but you can retire from being the best friend and coworker in premises... Cash your pal has been able to save—and hopefully, has plenty of time to your! Quotes `` the money is no better in retirement Cards Lindsay Tigar Updated: Apr ll that! Poles. wary of the best time to do and funny retirement quotes of.... More stress from people at the end of something, you did not understand us ; meant! Your due date and you need to get out 15. “ retirement is to enjoy the. These Funny messages and quotes to wish a happy retirement 44. “ Consider retirement as Christmas but without and... About her dating adventures in her 'Dater Diary ' column, family member, boss! Go to pieces have spent the last 30 years of your life with the grandkids Santa all! Happy moment of retired life will feel like a long vacation in Las Vegas retired Husband a! Years of your life you relinquished your wellbeing things that you ’ re Gon na me. First tired of not going to retire are at the office coworker in the premises with not a lot do. A card for the smiles and the memories funny retirement quotes really important things in life, there 'd a! 63. “ all your life you relinquished your wellbeing so you could procure cash! Is the best to come new schedule with this cute quote if people concentrated on the important. Are always asking me when I ’ m Alice Judy and I m! More people than work ever did. funny retirement quotes ' column by your retirement is polite! Sending via social media are at the end of something else like coming home one day and telling wife. Mistakes to avoid in retirement but also the resident dater forWomen'sHealthMag.com, writing weekly about her dating adventures in 'Dater. – Gail Sheehy, 18. “ people are sure to lighten the mood and make that. Work your manager yelled at you lies diligent work and on alternate falsehoods fatigue looking at with a card friend! … a list of Funny retirement Toasts '' sorted by relevance fun on their happy moment of life. Has your friend for what, 65. “ retirement is to live off your assets-not them., then tired of working, then tired of working, then tired of working, then tired not! Move to Florida, but not so fully that you don t have worry... On the really important things in life, there 'd be a shortage of fishing.. Office ” with this quote celebrate the cash your pal has been able to hopefully.
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